Firstly, sorry for the long delay, moving is terribly hectic. And secondly, merry christmas and happy new year to all my readers! Yeah, to all two of you!
Anyways, in this time i've been offline, i've done all sorts of soul searching, and i've got tonnes to write but no clue where to start. I wanted to say something about this epiphany i got while peeing in the Cheras Tesco, but i've to organise it first into something readable.
Anyhooo, i did a bit of exploring in the dark expanse i call my mind, and found a couple of interesting things.
Did anyone happen to read my earlier blog on the Aquarian?
I know none of you did, dont try and bull. Anyway, one of the characteristics of the Aquarian that fits me like a glove is the curiousity. I quote: "Aquarians are always analyzing situations, friends and strangers. It can be disturbing when they start asking pointblank questions, with a bare minimum of tact, as they probe into the heart of your private feelings."
Thats me in two sentences, as any of my friends could attest. So i asked myself the most basic philosophical (and yet most impossible to answer) question:
Why?
The first why was pretty simple. WHat motivates me to ask questions non stop about everything? Knowledge. I like to know stuff, whats going on, who's with whom, what who thinks, when what's happening, so on and so forth. Its a trait of mine, i strongly believe in the phrase knowledge is power.
Why?
Now things got a bit more complicated. Why do i want to know everything? The most obvious reason would be power. When you know everything thats going on, every thought and motive and potential reaction, manipulating situations to your own ends becomes very easy. Of course there's the less subtle blackmailing and bribing. But no, that wasnt the real reason, because i usually keep my information to myself, and have no real reason to manipulate (plus i'm way to lazy to actually do any of that stuff). And yet this knowledge is very important to me.
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At this point i must interject the flow of the blog with a point that popped up in my mind. I've always found death tragic, but why i never knew. I dont miss people ever, and i know one person dying doesnt really affect the world in any way. So while i was pondering over my own thirst for knowledge the answer hit me.
Each and every person, no matter how similar they might seem to others, is unique in one way, their minds. The information present in someone's head, the conclusions drawn from it, the extrpolations made, and connections found between different bits and pieces, all in all the huge web of knowledge formed, is always different. Two people may know the same thing, but they may understand it differently, and connect it to dissimilar things. Also everyone experiences occasions and happenings in their own, completely unique way.
Point is, when some one dies, his mind is lost. No one will ever have an exactly identical line of thought, and all his experiences and thoughts will disappear, never to be known again. That is why dying is such a sad thing. Imagine how much a seventy year old man knows! All of it just disappearing forever seems such a terrible waste it almost makes me cry to think about it.
I'm sure if you've had a close relative pass away (lets call him Bob), you know what i'm talking about. When do you really miss a person? When a situation comes up, and you think, hey, remember Bob? He would have said
One of the most akward times in our lives is when a close friend or relative's death is inevitably close by. What could you possible say to that person? 'Everything will be alright', or 'We'll never forget you' and other such cliched phrases seem somewhat empty in the face of real death. Personally, i think the best solution would be not to talk. Let the person on his deathbed talk. Learn about his life, his dreams, his opinions, his experiences, his hopes, his whole life. That way the person, even after death, will be alive in your mind, his life not lost to obscurity.
And maybe thats what this blog is. A last ditch grab at immortality, a desperate attempt to keeep my thoughts alive.
1 comment:
You've written a lot. As such, since I'm extremely and utterly lazy right now and on a very long blog roll, I won't add much but just say that:
I agree with you on about everything you've said regarding knowledge, death. It's what I think too and also, how freakishly aquarian we both are -_-
Toilets are brilliant places to get epiphanies btw
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