First we went and watched Enchanted. No, thats does not make me gay. And yes, i did like it. SUE me. I thought it was pretty hilarious, come on, when was the last time you saw singing and choreographed dancing in an english movie not classified as a musical? Reminded me of a hindi film. And the acting was excellent (James Marsden is so very underrated), the plot solid, the jokes hilarious, and the dresses really really low. What more could you want?
Then i bought four books. I dont know if its a good thing or bad, i just cant help myself anymore. I'm cleaning out all my savings, i have to cut down on reading.
I'm gonna be broke soon.
Then as i waited at the commuter station for my folks, i started doing that one thing we all shouldnt be doing. No, not evangelizing. Thinking. And i had three thoughts.
1. Death is always a sad thing, aint it? Having close relative pass away can be pretty devastating, especially when you're sitting for important exams (the A levels are going on). I wouldnt know, i've never lost a close relative (touch wood!). And in this time of grief, people can react in two ways: a) They fill the hole with a sudden intimate relationship (a bit of a rebound), or b) They put up a wall around themselves, shutting everyone out.
Sadly, the friend i have in mind is the second type. And i pretty much get it, the person needs space. But how much space? Not a single message in three days is a bit much, isnt it? This from a friend who usually messages atleast once a day. Even with funerals and mourning and stuff, i'm sure there's time to type an sms, ten seconds is all, and send it.
The possible explaination is that in a time of emotional loss and vulnerability, you (I) am the last thing on that persons mind.
Which kinda sucks, makes me somewhat expendable.
On the other hand, am i being too needy? Well, i dont think so. Maybe i just do have a hero complex.
2. I was thinking about parents. They are the root of all problems everyone faces.
Very drastic accusations, eh. But its true. Whether its because they're there too much, or because they're not their at all, somehow, they're responsible if the child is screwed up. Some parents abandon their children, some hover over the poor kids incessantly, the latter results in wild immoral people and the former in wilder rebellious people.
You'll never have a kid, with absolutely NO complaints about their parents. Somewhere or another, there will be a problem. Parents make their kids feel insufficient, abandoned, stifled, guilty, angry, depressed, abused, abusive, rebellious, and a billion other things i cant remember at this moment in time. And each of these negative feelings will blossom into some sort of problem for the child in question, manisfesting themselves either in childhood or after the individual has grown to adulthood.
So, people, you have any problems? Depression, addiction, anger, stress? Think hard, in the end, your parents are at fault. Go tell them. Tell them how their short comings have almost certainly destroyed your happiness, how you dont want them anymore.
And cringe as they laugh at you and tell you to shut up, get back to your studies and stop wasting time reading silly blogs.
3. Now this part is a tragedy. Here i had this beautiful thought. It was witty, well composed, interesting, and very profound. IN fact it was so profound it inspired me to write this blog. But here's the tragedy: I cant remember what it was. For the life of me, i cannot recall it. It has been locked up deep in the crevices of my crowded brain, fleeting like a dream, leaving behind frail wisps of its glory and brilliance for me to cling on too, in vain as even those slip through my mind as drops of water would through my tightened fists. Yet even as i grasp for it harder, it falls away, deeper and deeper into shadow.
And that is my tribute to that thought. Maybe one day it will strike me again, but till then, you'll have to take my word on how brilliant it was.
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I'm afraid i have to end this blog on a sad note. A shortwhile ago, one of my sister's ex classmates, a dental student, was killed, supposedly in a car accident. The unexpectedness caught me off guard, and i didnt even know him very well, just by sight.
It's not fair to have life cut out just like that, without warning, and with so much potential left. But then when is anything ever fair?
Think about him and the countless others who lose everything, in a heartbeat.
3 comments:
Enchanted is nice because it was hilarious. Prince Charming was a riot. His arrogance amused me. The dresses weren't THAT low. I have lower ones. Ha.
Books are an investment. Worth going broke for.
Do not get upset about being the last thing on that person's mind. Think instead about the grief that person is going through. It is a more important thing that your habitual daily SMSes. Also, a much less selfish thing. Then again, you are only human.
As for the parents, just go some place far away from them as soon as you can get out on your own. Such oppression on individuality shouldn't be encouraged.
About the grieving thing, i reckon i phrased myself wrong. When i reread the post, it sounded like my emphasis was on being needed. That wasnt what i meant, sorry.
I was thinking more about what is a reasonable length of time, to use grieving as an excuse to push someone away. Is it a good excuse at all?
Now, were these thoughts inspired in your detached phase? Or are you looking for a reason to deem that person capable of surviving without you?
But hey, you DO need to feel needed. You said so yourself =P
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