On Battling the Church

I am sleepy.No matter what i do, what time i sleep, what i do before i sleep, what i dream about, who i hump, i am sleepy. Its become my constant state, whatever i do, i'm sleepy. Oh well.

Yesterday was a somewhat interesting day, i went to church (there's a whole story on that coming up!), then i came back home and became totally emo, spilling my life story out to miss Ashvini. I think this solitary confinement equivalent i'm going through is making me a real softie!

The Church. Like any good devout catholic guy, i go to church every sunday. Yesterday, i went to church, and guess what happened!

Absolute jack shit.

Nothing happens in church for me anymore. Its completely unmoving these days. I remember going to church and being so touched, being compelled to become better, all that stuff. Now its just like a boring lecture i have to sit through, and i count each minute till the mass finished (i can go thump the church drum set.)

I reckon its because i've started having trouble believing in God. Is God real? Is he the catholic God, or some other god?

Or could religion perhaps be mankinds greatest invention?

Kelvin has this theory that christianity in particular is based off greek mythology, to a certain extent. It has to do with Zeus becoming God(lightning bolt, anyone?), and Hades and Poseid0n melded together to become Satan (the ruler of the underworld plus the trident/pitchfork). He also said something about some greek king supposedly rising from the dead three days after he died (which he claims to be what Jesus' ressurection is based on), but i havent figured out which king, so i cant really say.

The concept of "God" itself might have been fabricated. What better way to control society? Earthly law, lets face it, has a rather fragile hold on the people. The authorithies wont be able to catch you if you run fast enough. So how do you keep errant people in check? Tell them that there is a god! Tell them that everything they do, small or big, is recorded and archived, and when they die (which they will. Only i am immortal.), they will be judged. The concept of a judgement you cannot escape would probably terrify the people into order.

So perhaps, my religion is entirely fabricated! That is one immense thought. Perhaps not my religion alone, but the entire concept of God. The afterlife. Judgement. Salvation and damnation. WHat if its all fake? What if, when you die, you're dead! End of story? Only the thoughts you express in blogs carry on after you?

This topic, actually, has been the basis of numerous debates, most of them involving Kelvinder. I'm a bit of a devil's advocate, when someone is arguing for the existance of God, i argue against, and when some argues that God is purely conceptual (Kelvinder), i argue for his existance.

Yes, i know, i'm supposed to chose a side, but i cant, not yet.

Now here's an even scarier thought. What if God is REAL!? Can you imagine what that must be like? Someone up there knows everything about you. EVERYTHING. Each and every small thing you've done, your shame and mistakes, stuff you havent told anyone, and never intend to, He KNOWS.

I reckon if he does exist, he's not exactly omnipotent. He doesnt know whats gonna happen in the future (if the concept of time applies to him at all), because if he did, then he could just judge us as soon as we're born and be done with it. Nay, i'd say it is more likely that he knows every single possibilty. Of course, there are an infinite number of ways the future could turn out, each influenced by the decisions of billions of individuals. Its actually impossible for us to fathom the amount of possibilities, let alone the outcomes themselves, but hey, He's God, i'm sure thats well within his capailities.

There isnt any evidence proving God exists (but hey. There's no evidence to say he doesnt exist either!) . Those days God might have been used to fill in gaps in science, but modern science doesnt need it anymore. Back then, people would've wondered where animals came from. God? Now we say evolution. They would've wondered how this planet came to be. God? Now we say dust thrown up from the birth of a star.

The only thing i reckon science wont be able to explain is the Big Bang. First there was nothing, and then there was lots of things. God, perhaps?

Kelvin (him again, i know!) says that people believe in God because its easier than disbelieving, its makes them feel safe and secure and gives life purpose. But i disagree! For me personally, i'd find it easier to take life at face value, to do as i please, and to not worry about death because that'll be the end and then i'd have nada to worry about. But believing in God, believing that i'm not in full control of my life, and that when i die i'm gonna be judged for my sins (oh and there are many! In my previous blog i even complimented Arsenal!), thats hard.

So anyway. Right now, i think its not that important what you believe in. To me, whats important is that its a thinking belief. Its important that before a person commits himself to an opinion that he examines it carefully in his head (as i'm doing currently, i'll let you know what i've decided). You can decide that God doesnt exist(because there is no evidence), or you can decide that He does (because the meaning of Faith is believing without the need for proof). But whatever you chose, as long as you've thought about it long and hard and true, you cant really go wrong.

But i bet God is having one big laugh over this whole topic. Even though we say we arent sure, or we dont believe in him, we spend so much time thinking about him, i'm sure thats akin to praying. =D

So anyway, new DNA samples came into the lab today, so i have to run off and do my PCR. I'm actually feeling somewhat lazy (because i'm sleepy), but the sooner i finish, the better.

So for now, Screw Out.