Being an idiot.

Well! That was a somewhat funny few days. Very up and down.

I just came into the realisation that nothing i do really matters, my opinions dont count, and my actions have no effect on the world, no matter how i try.

And that wasnt the nicest revelation i've had recently!

So anyway, its been a week of internal warring and conflict, confusion, frustration, depression, and loads of porn. And its no where near done.

The problem comes when i try to tell people what i feel. Most of the time they dont really care (why should they? As i said, it wasnt important.), sometimes they disagree with me (which often means i AM wrong and am in idiot), and all of the time, i end up getting irritated with them, and start fights.

But for what? I've some to the conclusion that its pretty useless, because no one is really going to understand me, i dont understand me! So for now i'm gonna stop telling people exactly what i think, and be more cautious.

I hope i can do that, because recently, my self control has been eroded. Maybe its the lack of contact with people?

One thing is for sure, right now, i'm no where near happy. Not even vaguely satisfied. And i dont know why.
One girl told me i shouldnt be complaining, because i have it all right now! I'm back home, with my mum, i have a job, no exams, nothing to break me from what should be a comfortable routine. Myabe she's right. But whether i have a right to complain or not, i'm still unhappy. She called me ungrateful and selfish, but maybe she's right. And that is why i have decided to stop complaining! NOw i shall just talk about sex and porn. Maybe superheroes too. I shall be the screw everyone thinks i am!

NOw when i think about it, all this seems so stupid. Life in general, is so useless! WHatever happens, what ever i say or do or think, there's no point! Whats the use of changing the world? It's gonna get burnt into a husk by the sun anyway! And its the same for everyone. Even you reading this blog. No matter how content you are with life, you must realise it'll be over in a flash, and that its utterly pointless. NO one cares about you, really, and you're just gonna be forgotten one day.



Loser.



Screw Out.